First of many, many pics I will subject you all to!

Here is my first pic for this time around, amazing how those tummy muscles remember where to go! Sooooo excited!!

I AM WHAT? God is Awesome!

So, the site of this still makes me somewhat speechless.
Thank you God, we are so blessed. We are 12 weeks today and Baby Dodd #2 is due June 23, 2010. Updates to follow when I settle down.

A LETTER TO STERLING...

I am the perfect playmate for you...I am relatively well behaved and have decent manners. I love to play and can't wait to meet you some day!

Still up praying

Still up praying about tomorrow, looking for verses to calm myself. Having trouble giving this problem to God.

Current finds I like:
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart…Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires…Philippians 2:13
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you…Psalm 34:18

Prayer Request

We are set for another try at the hospital Wednesday. The doctor increased my meds this time and we are hoping that will do the trick. Please send us prayers!!

Please God, A Baby.

I have been waiting for Jon's permission to spill it

After 14 months is appears we have...unexplained infertility. After taking a boatload of fertility drugs and shots over the past 12 months, tests, etc. There is nothing wrong with either one of us at this point. The drugs fix me so there is really no explanation now. Even 2 failed assisted procedures. I pray, and pray, and pray. My prayer changes, it used to be to send me a new baby, but sometimes lately it has been for God to please bring me peace if this is the way he really wants it to be. It is often a prayer to help me to not be jealous of others, to be thankful for what I have, to remember I don't know the struggles of others, or to just plain help me. Help me to not cry every time I see am obviously pregnant 14 year old in Target, a woman on the news that starved her child or a pregnant woman on Cops who is pissed because she is getting arrested because the cops found her crack pipe stuffed in her bra. A prayer to get me to the school bathroom, stairwell or closet before I start bawling-again. A prayer not to smack the woman standing next to me when she complains about not liking the month her baby is due, or how much of an inconvenience this "kid" will be. A prayer to not want to strangle those Duggar people. I often think maybe he is teaching me a lesson, teaching me that jealousy and envy is wrong, or maybe he is mad at me, for my inability to be a better person.

Also, Jon if you are reading this- I often pray that I can cut you some slack. I pray to thank God that you haven't lost your mind with me just yet. Especially on the days where this is all I talk about or the days when I cry at random, often.

You know, when I lost our first baby I can't describe how crushed we were. God answered my prayers then, and I have faith he will again. I am just having so much trouble dealing with it now. I fear that this is the way it is supposed to be, so I won't be able to change it. My problem is that I believe that if I don't worry about something, then God will think it is not important to me or he will think I don't care. Case in point-any time Jon flies anywhere, I worry the whole time because I feel like if I don't, God will think I take it for granted that he will be ok. I know my problem may seem like nothing compared to the infertility of others, but I subscribe to this thought. I only know the seriousness of the problems I have experienced. This is just about the biggest thing I have ever experienced so it seems like the world to me.

So here is one of my prayers. I actually have two written down in a notebook, I read one of them when I am angry, envious, sad, mad, blue, annoyed, irritated, miserable, hurt, crushed, jealous, forgotten, anxious or often- defeated.

Dear God,

Thank you for my wonderful family, good job and warm home. Thank you for sending me the best husband and dad for Ella. Thank you for my precious baby. Help me to not be jealous. Help me to cut my husband some slack and help him to understand the despair I sometimes-strike that- often feel. Help me when he doesn't understand. Help this to not consume me, to override my mind. I pray for the friends I have made in the struggle-online, at work and those that share the struggle but it is unknown to me. I pray to thank you for giving me such an understaning principal, one that will pray for me-no questions asked. One that doesn't bat an eyelash when I ask for yet more time off to visit the hospital again. Thank you for a supportive family. I pray that one day I can feel the little hiccups and kicks of another baby. I also pray for Tina, who just found out she is losing the baby it took her over a year to conceive.

In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Big girl, Sad Momma

I don't know why I am so sad about the first day of school. She is in the same building with me, just like she has been virtually all her life(this time is school, up till now in the staff nursery). I had to fight back tears as I took her picture next to her ribbon, I fought back tears as I walked out the door, as I walked down the hall and up the stairs to my classroom. She is literally 60 seconds away from me, but I felt like I had never been away from her in my life.

It is not like she wasn't happy, she knew the classroom from summer school and her teacher. I guess it is just momma. I know it is great for her, but I feel a guilty. Like sending her to school instead of being with me all day long is the worst thing I could do to her. I am worried that if Ella is the only baby God sends me, this will be the only "first day of school" I will ever get.

All right, enough. I snapped a few pics. I particularly like the one with Gee-ga-maw-who I might mention is also in the same building with us less than 5 minutes away. Is is great for her to be so close too, she gets to see the little monkey much more that way.


On the way to school...
In front of her cubbie and ribbon.

Who turned out the lights????

I found this when I came in from mowing the backyard! At least he didn't eat another birthday cake. ( For those of you who didn't hear, I made Ella a birthday cake that took four hours to make- fondant and the whole bit. The dog ate it when I went in the backyard to turn off the sprinklers.) This was alot funnier than that little disaster.

Pics from around the Dodd house...

Have I ever mentioned how in love I am...

I mean, look at this cutie!Now, on to the little stinker:

This girl LOVES horses. Wonder if she remembers Daddy promising her a pony the night she was born?

As the kitchen turns...

This is what happens when a 2 year old finds the sidewalk chalk.

Those of you who know me can't possibly believe this is my daughter. Look at those shoes!

Biscuit getting his check-up.

Ella's first manicure.

GO HAWKS!!!!!!!!!

I just wanted to take the opportunity to say
GO BLACKHAWKS!!
I knew my boys had it in 'em!

I WON!!! I NEVER WIN!!

OK, so if anybody read my last post you know about the raffle. I posted about a foundation that educates about carseat safety. Anywho, I joined the raffle as I always do and when I opened my email this morning, I saw a message saying I won! I can't believe it. I am so excited and I will promptly pack it away for the future. I won a new Snugride, Quattro Stroller and a pacimal. I added some pics for those that love pics! Pretty cool since they did the drawing on my birthday yesterday.

Carseat Raffle and Good Lessons for All

A great raffle for those expecting a new baby, or those like me who are dying to have a new baby. The Kyle David Miller foundation is a doing a raffle for and new Snugride, base and stroller. The entries are $10.00 each and the money goes to their foundation, which purchases car seats for those that can't afford them and to educate the public about the use of car seats, especially the use of five point harnesses for as long as possible. The site has a sad story, but the site and the raffle are for a great cause, the lessons of which I am a big supporter(especially the 5-pt harness part!). Check it out, enter the raffle and learn some great things. If you haven't had the chance to check out my links, you should.

http://www.kyledavidmiller.org

Also, see Belle's Gift at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2LFo8vVi04

Daddy's Birthday, New Countertops and a Completed Refinance!

Happy Birthday to Daddy!
And what did he get you ask...

Our new countertop installed and the closing on our refinance. I have attached pics of the counters and our new sink! The first is a before for comparison. I could not be more excited!!! It is so nice to have those things off our plates. We have pretty much decided on the tile for the backsplash, that and the lights are the only things left. We are almost there. We also got visit Gran this weekend and see cousin Anna, Ella love her cousin Anna!

Spring Break Part I

Well, I did a ton of things over Spring Break, but I will break this down into parts. Part I is our visit to the Science Place/Natural History Museum/IMAX/Planetarium. What you may not know about my little stinker is that she L-O-V-E-S dinosaurs. I have lots of pics, but I will try to limit. The little ankle biter had such a good day she fell asleep during the IMAX movie - sitting up.

For those of you that are just DYING in suspense (waka waka), Part II will be our kitchen remodel, and Part III my yard work. It could be a while on the kitchen, we are waiting for our countertops to be installed.

I will start out with a pic of this crazy squirrel that was seriously a foot away. He was freakin' me out, I probably should have stopped feeding him...
He looks a little chubby, he must like museum visitors.


Ella, at the my house exhibit

Playing at the zoo exhibit
Daddy look!!!! A BIG one!

Water play

Fun With Cousin Anna!

We had so much fun with Anna last weekend. We colored, blew bubbles, played with playdough and went to Chuck E Cheese! It was a great time, Ella loves her Cousin Anna!! I snapped a video of Ella dancing on Chuck's stage.They even played Wii together!

Look Ma, no more diapers!

Just stopping by to mention we are officially potty trained! No diapers in 2 weeks! I also caught her coloring the other day and realized how much she has grown.

The first pic is at 8 months. The second this weekend. Where did all the time go?

The Laundry Room and Jason's New Puppy

I finally have some before and after pictures of the laundry room. I also have some pics of the progress in the bathroom. My brother got a new puppy recently and brought it over to socialize, Ella had a great time...Biscuit did not.

Can't leave the two alone!

This is what happens when I leave the two of them alone. Ella has decided to play a new game and try "falling" off of the fireplace and then using the sofa to catch herself. This time she missed and feel right on her face. The picture really doesn't do it justice, it looks terrible in person. I need to take her for a check up soon, but I am afraid they will wonder what is going on at our house!

And for those of you following my laundry room saga...
After replacing the door, we had to retexture, so we decided we might as well paint the walls, and the cabinets and replace the trim! My house is such a mess, I feel like I can't get control. I hope by next weekend I will have some before and after pictures.